At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
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there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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