do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
