Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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