im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
