Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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