apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
