i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
