Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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