ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
