she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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