You made me cry and you don't even care
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
