We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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