i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
