Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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