Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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