I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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