Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
