Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
