Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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