Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
