it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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