Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
