I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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