Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
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