we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
