Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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