Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We need a shit load of segways right now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
