i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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