end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
