I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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