I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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