oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
