I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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