Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
