im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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