Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Mom said you looked used
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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