We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My life is pants optional.
His nipple licking is glorious
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