next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
