what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
