standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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