"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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