do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
