I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
