I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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