Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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