I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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