I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
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HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.