watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
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i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.