so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????