watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.