why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
