That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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