Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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