I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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