Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
