Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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