I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize