um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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