Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
