Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
