Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize