My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
