shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize