i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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