yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
