My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
