never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
