Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
