Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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